• Eve Arnold

4 Quotes (If Applied) That Will Change Your Life

Listen up. All from Mr. Dale Cargenie’s How To Win Friends and Influence People.

Photo by Sharon McCutcheon on Unsplash

Dale Cargenie is a man who wrote a few books a while ago. The one I have in my hands is a book that was published in 1936. Needless to say his ideas and wisdom have stood the test of time.

How to Win Friends and Influence People is the best book I’ve ever read.

Really and truly it is fantastic. It’s fairly short, it is captivating and mostly, it’s kind. I love the idea that don’t have to be arseholes to get ahead in life. We can simple be kind and care about people. Cargenie writes this over and over. His principles are clear and understood. What he has to say is articulated with simplicity and fact which makes it feel raw and honest. I think what I like best about the book is the soul of it. Cargenie wants us to learn and understand these lessons and he’s willing to teach because they really are, as he found, the recipe of influence and social success.

We live in a world where people rule it. There is no debate on that, our world is ran by people. No other species come close to ruling the world we have conquered. Our trouble then tends to lie within our species. How do we get other humans to listen and be influenced by us?

“Don’t complain about the snow on your neighbour’s roof,” said Confucious “when your own doorstep is unclean.”

And we do don’t we. We find ourselves moaning about this and that. Especially in work, it’s easy to get mad or upset at the way something has gone. Sometimes it can feel so unjustified and so unfair that you can’t do anything other than complain. Life feels hard sometimes and we can’t seem to think of a way out of it other than to get mad and upset. And it’s fine to feel like that. I personally think it’s good to indulge a little bit of how you’re feeling from time to time. But it’s true that whenever we are looking outward at the world and making judgement there is always something we can be doing for ourselves. Why spend time complaining about others when you could be busy working on yourself? That is essentially what Cargenie is saying and it’s fair isn’t it? Really, you should only judge if you are sure you are perfect.

It’s easier said than done. Trust me, I know.

“A great man shows his greatness,” said Carlyle “by the way he treats little men”

I’ve always had trouble with this idea of ‘men being little’. Men or women are no smaller or taller than each other, in my opinion. Of course physically we are. But just because you have a fancy title or earn a lot of money you are no more of a human than anyone else. And if that’s what you truly believe then of course the ‘little’ man won’t exist and you should treat all people the same. But this goes for every person you meet in life. We pass judgement quite quickly and often without thinking twice. But instead, Cargenie asks us to seek an understanding of why something is the way it is.

“When dealing with people, let us remember we are not dealing with creatures of logic. We are dealing with creatures of emotion.”

And how true this is. It’s sometimes perplexing that people do the things they do. Why some people risk everything for the big break, why people buy things they can’t afford to impress people they aren’t necessarily fond of. Why we buy iPhone after iPhone even though we are struggling to make ends meet. The answer? Well we are creatures of emotion.

Love, greed, fear, anger, joy, surprise, sadness.

Whether we like it or not, we are creatures of emotion and often we let our emotions guide us through life. So whilst something might make sense, from a logical perspective. It doesn’t always make sense from an emotional one. And normally, emotion wins over logic.

“The deepest craving in human nature is the craving to be appreciated”

Whether we like it or not, we hate failing. We do. I know, I know, I’ve read the articles on how failure is a mere bump in road on this journey of life. How failing early is good, how failing helps you see the path you’re meant to go on. And I believe it. But it still hurts. We, are driven by emotion and us humans, well we hate failing and love succeeding. Failing is seen as bad and success as good. So naturally we strive to win. We want the “well done” or the top grades. We crave appreciation because we are social beings and we want to be accepted by one another.

“The way to develop the best that is in a person is by appreciation and encouragement”

This is a quote from Charles Schwab, he was the president of the United States Steel Company. He got paid incredibly handsomely for his work and it was all down to his ability to develop and interact with people. Maybe I’m just a sucker for a happy ending but isn’t it nice to ponder the prospect of getting where you want by being nice and appreciative of what people do. The thought of old age management techniques of the ‘stick’ make me want to throw up. I can’t think of anything worse than throwing someone into the fire when they made a mistake. It’s such an ignorant way to go about any business.

It’s important, to remember that us humans are emotional, we like to be appreciated, we shouldn’t judge unless we are perfect and doing all that means we can develop people and watch them grow.

#Work #Life #LifeLessons #Business #SelfImprovement

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